so i've noticed a few of the students who have come by my office so far (mostly people that are either clueless or brown-nosing) have called me mrs. helbley (and i think one quiet one even said miss).
now i don't know if i am being egotistical or if i really should do something about this. i would prefer that students choose from the following three options: dr. helbley, professor helbley, or jennifer. i feel that if a student wants to be informal with a teacher and is comfortable calling me by my first name that is fine. but if they want to use a title it should be dr. or professor. i wonder if some of the guys get called mister. or if it is just women that they assume don't have a ph.d. i'm contemplating asking one of the younger men faculty in the dept. if they get called mister. i'm pretty sure that if i talked to the other woman in the dept. that she would say she's been called miss or mrs. we were talking on sunday before school started and she said just the other day someone doing some freshman orientation stuff walked into her office while on the cell phone and asked her to open a door for them. when she couldn't the cell phone talker requested that she go find someone that could. she's pretty sure that cell phone talker thought she was the secretary. and that if she had been a man that assumption would never have been made.
i could be over reacting. it may not matter at all in the long run. it is too bad that i still think that there is the possibility of gender bias by people because i think in general that isn't true. so what do you think? should i ignore the mrs. or should i try to fix it?
6 comments:
My perspective is that I signed up for my position because I believed in the ministry, not how I would be treated. I've been called all sorts of things, and asked by a variety of people who knew what position i represented, and many who did not to do all sorts of things that don't even come close to fitting my job position. I figure I hate people being upitty with me, so it's not a prerequesite to interact wiht me. call me kevin helpme, call me hey you, make me clean the toilet. I don't care. I've found that no amount of reminiding people what I represent garnishes more respect or less, and that in the long run, being a team player and flexible enough to go beyond the job title COULD help the organization in the long run. I just told a coworker yesterday that 'i am a team player. even if I have to be the ball and put on a tough skin'.
Of course, people treat you how you let them, and I'm more interested in getting my job done the hiding in the corner ensuring people pronounce my name correctly. that's just me. Although, if I had a big fancy degree name by my name, it seems fair that people should use it as a token of respect for the title. I have no such luxury, but knowing the way things work around here, it's the people with degrees that think that they are all that AND a bag of chips that get to me. I'd rather be a no-name and quietly move the organization forward, then a big name and sink it fast.
i'm posting this before readnig kevs comment so his minutia doesn't bog me down. i may post again after reading kevs.
my take is that when I call someone miss or MRS. i'm trying to be respectful. miss (in my understanding) is the formal term for a married or unmarried woman, thus its safe to go with that one if unsure.
i almost NEVER get called mister and when i do, it feels like someones talking to my dad. I run a pretty informal group, so everyone calls me by my first name, and I prefer that.
if you like DR helbley, then put that on all your syllabuses, put it on your door, etc. make an announcement the first day of class with the name you prefer, and in 6 months, you'll wish they called you jennifer instead of doctor. =)
i caution against you having students call you by your first name. to me that decreases the seperation (and respect) and could be detremental to your structure. there are a few times I have found that me trying to talk on common ground with one of my direct reports has lost me respect. when I administer diciplne they think its a joke, when i'm trying to be serious.
keep the seperation, use DR. when you are at an informal party or something, use your first name.
i was right, kevs minutia has prompted me for yet another reply.
he does bring out a point of being upity with the name. a name is aname. but to me, the professers I've had the most respect for preferred to be called DR. i think of the professer i had at UNR that taught finance, DR. Faircloth. she was professional, well versed, and to me had more than earned the title. she deserved to be called DR.
i think in grad school, being called by your first name may be OK, but not in undergrad. i always used DR when addressing my professers (even sometimes w hen I knew they didn't have one) just cause i felt it showed respect.
I think the separtion is good....mainly because you are young and it is easier to go from formal to casual but not from casual to formal. By putting Dr. Helbley on all the paperwork that goes into their hands and writing your name Dr. Helbley on the the blackboard or whiteboard..... before the class comes in would be a subtle reminder. And if you remind them verbally in a soft voice they won't think your uppity. Dick Francis wrote about a woman CPA-rescurer of business--in one of his books. Absolutely the top of her business, but had her dress in soft flowery dresses--not sexy--. People always mistook her intelligence, but they told her things....which is what she wanted. In other words she manipulated non-vervally the response she wanted. Maybe you should have tweed jackets with patches on the elbow and smoke a pipe. Just kidding...
WEll... I definitely think it should be Dr. YOu worked hard to earn you degree. As for respect from your students and fellow staff members --- respect is earned.
At OLL students and staff all called each other by first names. We all had to earn respect from one another.
i like your moms suggestion of smoking a pipe. i'm really trying to visualize that and am having a tough time doing it.
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